What is an orgasm? It is series of involuntary muscle contractions in the anus, lower pelvic muscles, and sexual organs, accompanied by a sudden release of endorphins providing a feeling of euphoria.
Orgasm is preceded by moistening of the vaginal walls and enlargement of the clitoris. The clitoris moves inward under the clitoral hood. The vagina decreases in size by about a third. There are rhythmic and pulsating contractions of the uterus, vagina and pelvic muscles. After orgasm, the clitoris emerges from under the clitoral hood and returns to normal size.
Okay, so that is a little technical for something so pleasurable, but, did you know that orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things? Yes it’s true…….women can ejaculate!
The recently recognised para-urethral gland that sits in the para-urethral sponge surrounding the urethra is a dense concentration of blood vessels that produce a fluid that is commonly called ‘ejaculate’.
This gland is also known as the G-SPOT. It is situated about 2-3inches inside the vagina, on the front wall.
This gland can be stimulated during sexual activity; it swells with fluids and begins to feel bumpy. Sometimes if stimulation is continued this fluid releases. This fluid release can be experienced as a gentle flow or a sudden gush.
This fluid is usually clear, water like, odourless and thin. There can be a large or small quantity and most importantly.it is not urine.
Some women may experience ejaculation on a regular basis and some women may not experience ejaculation at all. There may be a variety of emotional responses to ejaculating, just try to remember that it is a perfectly natural process.
We all experience orgasms differently from each other and may experience each orgasm we have differently from the last.
You may have come to a late to understanding of what an orgasm is, only to find out that you were already having them but did not know what that feeling was called.
Did you know:
- Many people do not experience orgasm from penetration alone
- Many people find it difficult to orgasm on their backs
- Women’s genitals come in many different shapes and sizes
- Other people don’t know how you like to be touched
Sex can be both pleasurable and exciting without orgasm or ejaculation.
There are many different types of pleasure for a person to feel and there are many different things that we each dislike.
For some of us orgasm or ejaculation is not the goal or even the end of sex; pleasure is. If striving for orgasm or ejaculation gives you pleasure then, go for it, but if pressure to orgasm or ejaculate is making your sex life miserable then letting go of this as a goal may make sense for you.
If you can relax and express yourself; let yourself feel the sensations, you may well find that you become able to experience sex in a totally different way.
If you are experiencing difficulty relaxing during sexual activity and are worried by this you might consider talking to us so we can refer you to people who can support you to work on it.
Masturbation is stimulating your own body in a way that brings about sexual pleasure, release or comfort. This can be done on your own or with other people watching.
There are many myths around masturbation (wanking), such as:
- It’s wrong, dirty or unhealthy
- Only men do it
- Women who own sex toys, don’t need men
- It’s a sad, lonely and desperate thing to do
We don’t think any of this is true. Here are a few quick RRP beliefs:
- It is our right to pleasure ourselves
- It is a great way to explore and learn about your body and what you like
- It be a good source of relaxation and stress relief
- It is safer sex
- It is normal
It can help build up sexual confidence and sexual self-esteem; whether that be around penetration, stimulation or use of sex toys. It can be used as pre-cursor for sexual activity with others or as a solo activity for yourself.
And…..No, it is not selfish!